I Missed My Morning Prayer Time

*Quiet Time- a time specifically set apart for you and Jesus.

On My Bed

I woke up late for work and dashed out of bed.

“I haven’t even showered yet!”

I grab my towel and run to the bathroom- no, toilet first because I’m pressed.

Ok, I’m in the shower now.

“Darn. I haven’t prayed. I need an atmosphere. Let me get my phone and play worship music so that I can usher God into this space. Man, shouldn’t I have done this BEFORE going to the bathroom? Ok. Workkkk. You’re getting late!”

I shower hurriedly and exit my home like I’ve been hit by an electric bolt.

At The Road-side

I am waiting for my ride. I’m feeling angsty. I feel like I’ve left someone behind- God. I feel like I have started the day unauthorised, alone.

I make an attempt to pray as I wait. I make conversation with God but I feel like I ought to be in an enclosed space. Somewhere quiet.

At Work

“I will get to my daily Quiet Time right before the first patient come-”

(Office Line Rings)

“Hey, doc, is your clinic busy?”

“Well, I-”

“Please come help us over here. We are a bit overwhelmed.”

My work is ministry, right?

(4 hours later)

It is around lunch. “Yes! I can pray while at lun-”

“Hey, doc.I am here to see you”. A patient.

The line does not care if I have eaten or not, so basically I glide (barely) through. Hungry, both inside and out.

At Home

I am tucked in now, ready to sleep.

“Ugh, I have not had Quiet Time today. Let me say something to God before I sleep.”

And then it happened. In the most unconventional way (compared to my routine for the past 1 year).

We had a conversation. I spoke, God spoke. I felt Him in my room. He was with me. He was not mad at me for skipping my morning time with Him. He did not ignore me when I came to him. He said something. And what He said was enough.

The time with God may not have been as perfect as I thought it would have been, but God is.

I still have days when I spend time with God in the mornings and my, don’t I feel amazing! But there are days when that gets extremely difficult, and because I desire to spend my day with God, I fight for my time with Him. Even at work.

Shifting and Shaking

I had a conversation with one of my teachers in ministry and she told me that it happens. That sometimes God shakes you up out of a routine. Because He is a dynamic God. And He knows what routine does to relationships. He understands what familiarity breeds. So sometimes God rearranges your schedule. A certain time no longer works, a certain way of worship no longer hits it. A certain method seems religious and not relational. And sometimes, that is okay. God moves differently and He challenges us to do the same.

I realised after that conversation that I struggled with my new found patterns of speaking with God because I had subconsciously learnt a habit of boxing God into one time slot instead of having a minute-by-minute relationship with Him. Why was I limiting God’s voice to a corner of my room? Could I not walk in the CBD while asking God questions? Could I not sing to Him a song of praise before my next client walked in? Where did the limitation come from? Where did I leave room for shame?

Despite life’s new set of demands, I realised that God did not stop being God. That He can still be accessed beyond the scopes of time constraints (a term I have come to find distasteful when it comes to fellowship with God). Having a dedicated prayer time is okay but continuing the day with God is amazing too.

As I struggled with shame for being an absentee at my prayer seat that morning, it was as if God was nudging me. As if He would say,

“Will you still seek me even when your schedule changes? When the job finally comes through? The marriage, kids, contract…? Will you still remember me in the ‘cool of the day’, when I enjoy speaking with you, just like I did with Adam and Eve?”

Friends, seasons, schedules and priorities change. But God does not.

May we not yield to routine and familiar patterns so much that when they are shaken, we lose touch with a dynamic and ever-moving God. May we truly lean to Him for all understanding and not ourselves, that in all our ways (including our ever changing patterns and schedules) we may acknowledge Him so that He may direct our paths.

My priorities are so different now. My way of speaking with God has been stretched to accommodate the place He is taking me, and I was frustrated then, but I get it now.

Thank you God for being the God in-between my client visits, just as you are in the still of my Quiet Time with you.

PSS: Quiet Time is very important with God. In fact, we are advised to have a time specifically for God in our day. I, for instance, love spending time with God in the mornings before I go to work. Things have been changing in my personal life and now I find myself spending time with God in other ways. Kindly consider setting aside time for God first if you have never done so. Lean in and hear how He speaks with you. Have a relationship with God in the place of consistency and then let Him guide you as you go along.